First of all, it has been ages since I've written anything. I know, it's bad form, and it's exactly how everything I write becomes abandoned. Usually it's because I have a short attention span for things that don't continue to interest me. This time was different though. I moved. Not only did I move, but my disabled mother came to live with me as well. Our household now consists of Me, the hubby, ninja toddler, and my mom. Needless to say I had a lot going on during this transition and had no time to devote to writing. All is stabilizing now however, so without further ado I bring to you : The Most Obnoxious Question!
Moving into a new neighborhood you expect to get a lot of questions from the neighbors. In general I don't mind, but this move I seem to be getting more of one type of question in particular. I find it immensely frustrating because I seem to get it every time I meet someone,no matter the context.Below I will list the different flavors of the question and what I'd like to answer. Followed of course, by what I actually say. What question is this? It's...
"Excuse me, but are you _____ ?"
1. "A nun?"
What I want to say: "Yes. I belong to the order of the sisters of Married-with-a-family-in-the-suburbs. We're an exclusive order"
What I actually say: "No"
2. "Amish?"
What I want to say: "Yep that's me, Amish American living in the middle of a neighborhood here in the suburbs. Please don't mind the car or Internet installation guy outside. Or the netflix DVD clipped to my mailbox to go out. Totally Amish."
What I actually say: "Uh...no" (This one always gets me-why do they think I'm Amish?)
3. "Quaker?"
What I want to say: "Why? Are you? That's pretty cool-is there a meeting house nearby? Quakers are pretty awesome!"
What I actually say: "Nope!" (This one didn't bug me, and my sweet neighbor had an interesting list of why he thought so and was just trying to make sure I wouldn't miss a Sunday meeting for lack of knowing location.)
4. "One of those church people?"
What I want to say: "I prefer the term "Orthodox Layperson" if you don't mind. As my husband is only a reader I'm not matushka"
What I actually say "Umm...I guess so?" (Seriously, what kind of question is that?)
5. "A Duggar?"
What I want to say: "Not technically, I changed my name when I married."
What I actually say: "No, No I'm not" (It's hard to be too upset about this one, it was a kid. Still he looked like he didn't quite believe me.)
These are just a few of the variations of this question that I seem to get daily. They are funny or frustrating or just tiresome depending on my mood or how often I've been asked that day. They are always followed by "But, the skirt.." which is even more frustrating. Stay tuned, and my discussion about my dress habits will follow.
:~D !
ReplyDeleteI would never have guessed this to be the most obnoxious question. But I don't wear a skirt outside church. Skirts are very nice, but I never learned to sit ladylike... So I never get asked any of the above, just if I'm Mennonite, from "a kerchief-wearing tradition" or "from another country," all pretty reasonable guesses, and only from people who know me a bit. The Latvian Lutherans have no idea what to make of me, however.
Mostly the neighbors around here are content to ignore me except to ask about my child-bearing habits. "You thinking of having any more?" is, in my mind, bold from a stranger, but then there's, "Boy and a girl... so you're done?" Oh, the one I get daily is actually, "Is she in school yet?" about Marija, which is strange to me since I remember preschool being nonstandard, and since it still is in our home, if not our community. And THEN there's, "Are you pregnant? Are you SURE? But the belly..."
I think that, really, is the most obnoxious question around here.
Also, I enjoy all your posts, but thank you for this one. I am sorry for your frustrations and glad to see the clever replies you have until now kept to yourself.
ReplyDeleteHAHA...I avoided the whole question thing by NOT having neighbors.....When I do get obnoxious questions, its usually when I'm working on the car....the pizza delivery guy says "hehehe...you studying to be a mechanic?"..My answer is "No., I really want to be a concert cellist, but in the mean time, the HP Senior Consultant job keeps the bills paid".....usually that shuts them up..
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