First of all, it has been ages since I've written anything. I know, it's bad form, and it's exactly how everything I write becomes abandoned. Usually it's because I have a short attention span for things that don't continue to interest me. This time was different though. I moved. Not only did I move, but my disabled mother came to live with me as well. Our household now consists of Me, the hubby, ninja toddler, and my mom. Needless to say I had a lot going on during this transition and had no time to devote to writing. All is stabilizing now however, so without further ado I bring to you : The Most Obnoxious Question!
Moving into a new neighborhood you expect to get a lot of questions from the neighbors. In general I don't mind, but this move I seem to be getting more of one type of question in particular. I find it immensely frustrating because I seem to get it every time I meet someone,no matter the context.Below I will list the different flavors of the question and what I'd like to answer. Followed of course, by what I actually say. What question is this? It's...
"Excuse me, but are you _____ ?"
1. "A nun?"
What I want to say: "Yes. I belong to the order of the sisters of Married-with-a-family-in-the-suburbs. We're an exclusive order"
What I actually say: "No"
2. "Amish?"
What I want to say: "Yep that's me, Amish American living in the middle of a neighborhood here in the suburbs. Please don't mind the car or Internet installation guy outside. Or the netflix DVD clipped to my mailbox to go out. Totally Amish."
What I actually say: "Uh...no" (This one always gets me-why do they think I'm Amish?)
3. "Quaker?"
What I want to say: "Why? Are you? That's pretty cool-is there a meeting house nearby? Quakers are pretty awesome!"
What I actually say: "Nope!" (This one didn't bug me, and my sweet neighbor had an interesting list of why he thought so and was just trying to make sure I wouldn't miss a Sunday meeting for lack of knowing location.)
4. "One of those church people?"
What I want to say: "I prefer the term "Orthodox Layperson" if you don't mind. As my husband is only a reader I'm not matushka"
What I actually say "Umm...I guess so?" (Seriously, what kind of question is that?)
5. "A Duggar?"
What I want to say: "Not technically, I changed my name when I married."
What I actually say: "No, No I'm not" (It's hard to be too upset about this one, it was a kid. Still he looked like he didn't quite believe me.)
These are just a few of the variations of this question that I seem to get daily. They are funny or frustrating or just tiresome depending on my mood or how often I've been asked that day. They are always followed by "But, the skirt.." which is even more frustrating. Stay tuned, and my discussion about my dress habits will follow.
