First of all, it has been ages since I've written anything. I know, it's bad form, and it's exactly how everything I write becomes abandoned. Usually it's because I have a short attention span for things that don't continue to interest me. This time was different though. I moved. Not only did I move, but my disabled mother came to live with me as well. Our household now consists of Me, the hubby, ninja toddler, and my mom. Needless to say I had a lot going on during this transition and had no time to devote to writing. All is stabilizing now however, so without further ado I bring to you : The Most Obnoxious Question!
Moving into a new neighborhood you expect to get a lot of questions from the neighbors. In general I don't mind, but this move I seem to be getting more of one type of question in particular. I find it immensely frustrating because I seem to get it every time I meet someone,no matter the context.Below I will list the different flavors of the question and what I'd like to answer. Followed of course, by what I actually say. What question is this? It's...
"Excuse me, but are you _____ ?"
1. "A nun?"
What I want to say: "Yes. I belong to the order of the sisters of Married-with-a-family-in-the-suburbs. We're an exclusive order"
What I actually say: "No"
2. "Amish?"
What I want to say: "Yep that's me, Amish American living in the middle of a neighborhood here in the suburbs. Please don't mind the car or Internet installation guy outside. Or the netflix DVD clipped to my mailbox to go out. Totally Amish."
What I actually say: "Uh...no" (This one always gets me-why do they think I'm Amish?)
3. "Quaker?"
What I want to say: "Why? Are you? That's pretty cool-is there a meeting house nearby? Quakers are pretty awesome!"
What I actually say: "Nope!" (This one didn't bug me, and my sweet neighbor had an interesting list of why he thought so and was just trying to make sure I wouldn't miss a Sunday meeting for lack of knowing location.)
4. "One of those church people?"
What I want to say: "I prefer the term "Orthodox Layperson" if you don't mind. As my husband is only a reader I'm not matushka"
What I actually say "Umm...I guess so?" (Seriously, what kind of question is that?)
5. "A Duggar?"
What I want to say: "Not technically, I changed my name when I married."
What I actually say: "No, No I'm not" (It's hard to be too upset about this one, it was a kid. Still he looked like he didn't quite believe me.)
These are just a few of the variations of this question that I seem to get daily. They are funny or frustrating or just tiresome depending on my mood or how often I've been asked that day. They are always followed by "But, the skirt.." which is even more frustrating. Stay tuned, and my discussion about my dress habits will follow.
Monday, October 21, 2013
Sunday, September 22, 2013
Sunday Update
Well, here we are again. The week is gone and I actually have things to say. Take a peek!
1. I hate hate hate bing sick. This week the ninja and I are sharing a supremely awful cold that just will not go away. Even now she is still stuffy and clingy. I'm most of the way better, but now the hubby has it too which means it may come back for me as well. Sometimes I need another me for a few hours so I can sleep and eat and shower. Anybody have a cloning machine?
2. I'm actually beginning to feel like we are moving lately. Things are being boxed up and disappearing to the new house. We've picked paint and hope to get started on that work this week- a lovely pumpkin for the living/dining and a purply gray for the hall and master bed. I'm still deciding, but I think a creamy butter yellow for the ninja's room will be lovely. It's all beginning to look like home.
3. I made chicken enchiladas for dinner one night this week and they were a hit! It was also easier than I remembered, so this means I should probably cook for real more often. So frequently my meals turn into mix and heat or fried veggies on pasta. Blah.
4. There was an itty bitty month old baby at church today and when she cried I leaked like I haven't in months. It's crazy what that newborn cry will do to a poor nursing mama.
5. With the hubby working nights I've actually had time to read lately. It's been nice, though many of our books have been packed already so I'm stuck re reading a few old friends. This week it's The Hunger Games trilogy. Catching Fire is a close tie with Mockingjay for the best of the lot. What can I say, I'm a sucker for dystopian coming of age tales.
6. Ninja baby has learned how to climb on top of our coffee table (Plastic bins-so classy) and it was the single most terrifying thing to come around the corner and find her trying to jump from one to another. I don't call her the ninja for nothing.
7. One of my friends is going from cloth diapering to disposable (sad news) due to a laundry/time issue. However, she is selling all her diapers (happy news!). I got a nice shiny purple one with Gandhi's "Be the change" quote on it. It's also got the breastfeeding and genital protection logos on it. It's really awesome, come warm weather I'll have to let the ninja wear it outside with only a shirt and shoes with it. The I can use it as a conversation starter.
1. I hate hate hate bing sick. This week the ninja and I are sharing a supremely awful cold that just will not go away. Even now she is still stuffy and clingy. I'm most of the way better, but now the hubby has it too which means it may come back for me as well. Sometimes I need another me for a few hours so I can sleep and eat and shower. Anybody have a cloning machine?
2. I'm actually beginning to feel like we are moving lately. Things are being boxed up and disappearing to the new house. We've picked paint and hope to get started on that work this week- a lovely pumpkin for the living/dining and a purply gray for the hall and master bed. I'm still deciding, but I think a creamy butter yellow for the ninja's room will be lovely. It's all beginning to look like home.
3. I made chicken enchiladas for dinner one night this week and they were a hit! It was also easier than I remembered, so this means I should probably cook for real more often. So frequently my meals turn into mix and heat or fried veggies on pasta. Blah.
4. There was an itty bitty month old baby at church today and when she cried I leaked like I haven't in months. It's crazy what that newborn cry will do to a poor nursing mama.
5. With the hubby working nights I've actually had time to read lately. It's been nice, though many of our books have been packed already so I'm stuck re reading a few old friends. This week it's The Hunger Games trilogy. Catching Fire is a close tie with Mockingjay for the best of the lot. What can I say, I'm a sucker for dystopian coming of age tales.
6. Ninja baby has learned how to climb on top of our coffee table (Plastic bins-so classy) and it was the single most terrifying thing to come around the corner and find her trying to jump from one to another. I don't call her the ninja for nothing.
7. One of my friends is going from cloth diapering to disposable (sad news) due to a laundry/time issue. However, she is selling all her diapers (happy news!). I got a nice shiny purple one with Gandhi's "Be the change" quote on it. It's also got the breastfeeding and genital protection logos on it. It's really awesome, come warm weather I'll have to let the ninja wear it outside with only a shirt and shoes with it. The I can use it as a conversation starter.
Friday, September 20, 2013
Top 10 Signs You've Met A Crunchy Mom
Meeting mom friends is hard. First you have to put yourself in a place where moms hang out, like a park or library. Then you have to figure out if her kids are close in age to your kids so you two will have something to talk about(How many teeth? We just cut a big one. Oh, totally a strike, keep pumping and offering!). But before you can take it to the next level-the mom flirt- you have to see if she is enough like you to make the awkward friend dating worthwhile. Enter this list! The top ten signs you've found a crunchy mom.
1. Babywearing
You and your tot are out at the mall, and you see her through the crowd. Like you her stroller is nowhere to be seen. Instead she has her bub strapped to her chest or back in a soft structured carrier, wrap, or sling. You lock eyes for a moment over the sea of parents wrestling kids into strollers or using them for bags while kiddo walks, or pushing the empty stroller while holding the cranky baby. A connection is made.
2. Breastfeeding
This mom sees you nursing your little one and decides to join you on the park bench. You two bond over tales of nibbles and strikes. Covered or al fresco, this is a good starting point for a friend.
3. Cloth Diapers
Unless it's summer you might not notice this mama until you are in a bathroom jostling for the only changing table. You see the cloth and can chat her up about styles-pre folds or pockets? Rockin' Green or Charlie's soap? It's always fun to compare fluff!
4. Clothes Line
You are pretty sure she has a functioning clothes dryer, but you always seem to see her in the yard hanging things to dry. Including cloth diapers, of course.
5. Garden Grown
Most of your neighbors have a tomato plant or two, but this woman takes the cake. It seems like she has a fresh crop almost every season, even eating from her yard in the winter.
6. Birthy Goodness
She will tell anyone who will listen about her midwife, her doula,and her birth photographer. She may even offer pictures. Pregnant? She has a list of phone numbers for you to call.
7. Upcycling
Most people recycle, but she up cycles. Broken handbag? Patch it with scraps from the old shirt! Paint this old coffee can and you have a stylin' container for the garden shed. This mom can find a use for everything.
8. Knows the lingo
She understands this sentence: "We do delayed, but I think a lollypop party would be good for them." And this one " Well, it's raw vegan but not Paleo, I might be able to make it paleo if I try" and this one "I'm doing the Weston A. Price thing, and that with oil pulling did the trick-I don't even see my dentist anymore!" You get the idea.
9. Gentle!
No hitting, no biting, no yelling. Time in-not time out. She is a gentle parent through and through.
10. She tells you
"I guess you could call me crunchy" "I'm crunchy to the max" "Crunchy mama here!" It never fails, mostly because we can't hold it in much longer-we love to tell!
What do all of you think? Did I miss anything? Do you consider yourself a crunchy mama?
1. Babywearing
You and your tot are out at the mall, and you see her through the crowd. Like you her stroller is nowhere to be seen. Instead she has her bub strapped to her chest or back in a soft structured carrier, wrap, or sling. You lock eyes for a moment over the sea of parents wrestling kids into strollers or using them for bags while kiddo walks, or pushing the empty stroller while holding the cranky baby. A connection is made.
2. Breastfeeding
This mom sees you nursing your little one and decides to join you on the park bench. You two bond over tales of nibbles and strikes. Covered or al fresco, this is a good starting point for a friend.
3. Cloth Diapers
Unless it's summer you might not notice this mama until you are in a bathroom jostling for the only changing table. You see the cloth and can chat her up about styles-pre folds or pockets? Rockin' Green or Charlie's soap? It's always fun to compare fluff!
4. Clothes Line
You are pretty sure she has a functioning clothes dryer, but you always seem to see her in the yard hanging things to dry. Including cloth diapers, of course.
5. Garden Grown
Most of your neighbors have a tomato plant or two, but this woman takes the cake. It seems like she has a fresh crop almost every season, even eating from her yard in the winter.
6. Birthy Goodness
She will tell anyone who will listen about her midwife, her doula,and her birth photographer. She may even offer pictures. Pregnant? She has a list of phone numbers for you to call.
7. Upcycling
Most people recycle, but she up cycles. Broken handbag? Patch it with scraps from the old shirt! Paint this old coffee can and you have a stylin' container for the garden shed. This mom can find a use for everything.
8. Knows the lingo
She understands this sentence: "We do delayed, but I think a lollypop party would be good for them." And this one " Well, it's raw vegan but not Paleo, I might be able to make it paleo if I try" and this one "I'm doing the Weston A. Price thing, and that with oil pulling did the trick-I don't even see my dentist anymore!" You get the idea.
9. Gentle!
No hitting, no biting, no yelling. Time in-not time out. She is a gentle parent through and through.
10. She tells you
"I guess you could call me crunchy" "I'm crunchy to the max" "Crunchy mama here!" It never fails, mostly because we can't hold it in much longer-we love to tell!
What do all of you think? Did I miss anything? Do you consider yourself a crunchy mama?
Sunday, September 15, 2013
Weekend Update
I really have trouble keeping up with any project I start, and this blog is proof of that. In order to take an actual shot at keeping up with this and enjoy myself in the process I think I'm going to start offering a weekend update-a Sunday evening post. Hopefully I keep it going.
1.Sunday school started today and I got my first look at my class. I teach ages 2 1/2 through 5 1/2, but it looks like only six kids this year. They seem a good group-I'm excited!
2. We have been having awkward weather recently, it's been fall or winter in the morning and summer in the afternoon, followed by fall in the evening. Keeping extra sweaters and pants around for the ninja is harder than I thought and she hates it. She loves the cold and gets angry when I try to cover her up. I wish the temperature would stabilize a bit.
3. We are moving! It's just from one area of our state to another- about a half hour drive, but it's far enough that life will improve a bit. Public transport! Wood floors! No stairs! I've been at the house almost every day with the mister and the ninja cleaning and bringing boxes. Official move day countdown is t-3 weeks!
4. The ninja has a favorite bishop. We have had the honor of hosting Vladyka Jonah at our church for many services for months now, and we have even personally had him over for supper several times. Ninja baby has become quite attached to him. She recently saw another bishop visiting our church and continually pointed to him saying "Nope mama! Nope Nope!". Vladyka Jonah seems tickled though.
5. I am stuck in a meal rut and feel too tired to be creative, too hungry to plan ahead, and too bored of our meals to do much but complain. Any good vegan crockpot meals? It's what I really need to spice things up a bit and have a wednesday/Friday off from "Random probably sautéed in slightly too much oil vegetable served with pasta" that we have been eating. Even the mister-who thinks I make what Jesus eats in heaven-is getting a little tired of it.
6. I want to live in the magical land where it is fall year round and I wear nothing but just-below-the-knee length skirts, nursing cami's(or regular ones, one day I guess), knee socks, and cardigans. I have never felt so comfy while I looked this put together! It's nice to have a fall back outfit that looks nice but I can clean and crawl on the floor in.
Well there you have it, my first weekend update. Hopefully I get another post up before next Sunday. If not, see you then!
1.Sunday school started today and I got my first look at my class. I teach ages 2 1/2 through 5 1/2, but it looks like only six kids this year. They seem a good group-I'm excited!
2. We have been having awkward weather recently, it's been fall or winter in the morning and summer in the afternoon, followed by fall in the evening. Keeping extra sweaters and pants around for the ninja is harder than I thought and she hates it. She loves the cold and gets angry when I try to cover her up. I wish the temperature would stabilize a bit.
3. We are moving! It's just from one area of our state to another- about a half hour drive, but it's far enough that life will improve a bit. Public transport! Wood floors! No stairs! I've been at the house almost every day with the mister and the ninja cleaning and bringing boxes. Official move day countdown is t-3 weeks!
4. The ninja has a favorite bishop. We have had the honor of hosting Vladyka Jonah at our church for many services for months now, and we have even personally had him over for supper several times. Ninja baby has become quite attached to him. She recently saw another bishop visiting our church and continually pointed to him saying "Nope mama! Nope Nope!". Vladyka Jonah seems tickled though.
5. I am stuck in a meal rut and feel too tired to be creative, too hungry to plan ahead, and too bored of our meals to do much but complain. Any good vegan crockpot meals? It's what I really need to spice things up a bit and have a wednesday/Friday off from "Random probably sautéed in slightly too much oil vegetable served with pasta" that we have been eating. Even the mister-who thinks I make what Jesus eats in heaven-is getting a little tired of it.
6. I want to live in the magical land where it is fall year round and I wear nothing but just-below-the-knee length skirts, nursing cami's(or regular ones, one day I guess), knee socks, and cardigans. I have never felt so comfy while I looked this put together! It's nice to have a fall back outfit that looks nice but I can clean and crawl on the floor in.
Well there you have it, my first weekend update. Hopefully I get another post up before next Sunday. If not, see you then!
Wednesday, August 21, 2013
An Open Letter To My Body
Dear body,
Hey! Whats up? It's been a while since we've talked and I figure we should have a chat. See if we can clear the air between us. I know things have been hard between us, but I promise I'm getting better. Just hear me out,ok?
You and I have always had a complicated relationship, almost as long as I can remember. The hair sprouting from your top was so long and thick it hardly ever dried. The arms and legs too long for the middle. I ate and ate but always seemed to look a little sick. For a while there I was even awfully bad at keeping you clean. We were always in trouble together though. Knees scraped after a bicycle fall, fingernails caked with dirt from backyard exploration, arms covered in cat scratches. Childhood was good for us but somewhere along the way I forgot how much I needed you. I even started to hate you.
I was nine years old when you began acting as an adult in many ways. I had no idea how to deal with these cramps and pads and hot water bottles and such. It was overwhelming to be the only one in my class who was needing that extra bathroom break, that trip to the nurse for forgotten "supplies", that embarrassing need for a sweater around the waist. I hated every second of it. I hated you.
A few years later I really understood the reality of living with a dying man. As our father died, you and I changed tactics a bit. I used you to escape and to dull pain. We ran for miles and miles, pushing until feet were sore and bleeding, chest heaving in gasps of breath, sweat pouring in buckets. We ate and ate and ate, climbing from a size 6 to a 12 overnight. We drank and smoked(just once, we hated it) and had many an interesting brownie at a party. I still hated you, but I realized I could use you to feel better, and so I did.
When my father died I wanted nothing to do with having a normal body. Everything else in my life was spinning out of control and I wanted something to have power over. The first time I hurt you was a rush. It felt like the world slowed down and I had the ability to breathe and mourn and live again. The marks I left were like trophies "You took control once, here is the proof". I sought out bad company and shared the pain and loneliness. I latched on to some bad guys who helped me hate you even more. Then things started to change.
I found myself in a situation I did not want to be in and finally had the self respect to get myself out. Soon I moved, surrounding myself with new people and experiences. I asked questions of myself: what do I want from my life? Am I ready to try to be happy? All along this journey you were with me. I started to treat you better. I hurt you less and less. I exercised and we lost weight. I took care in dressing you. Things were looking up.
I began a relationship with a man who worshipped you. He never ceased to compliment you. He embraced us when I admitted to the harm I've done you. He forgave me when I was just starting to forgive myself. I married this man, dressing you up in an ivory gown and sweeping your hair up on top of your head. I finally began to embrace you for what you were, a part of me.
Pregnancy was a great time for us, wasn't it? I was proud to watch you swell and change. I exercised, fed you well, and kept you well hydrated. We grew another body, one of a little girl, and it is for her that I am truly working on my relationship with you. We tried so hard to birth her at home, but when she was stuck and you exhausted I consented to the transfer and all it brought. For months after my ninja's birth I was angry at you. How could you do this to me? I prepared you well! I did everything I was supposed to do? Why did you allow me to wind up on my back in a cold unforgiving room while strangers stretched you and pulled on you to free my baby? As time wore on, and I better understood what had happened I began to move on. I forgive you now. I forgive you for my birth. You did your best, and that is all that matters.
As for now, our ninja baby is a crazy toddler, running around and learning about her own body. I want her to know that her mama likes her body and is happy with herself. I've been doing everything I can to get you in the best shape I can. We are thin now, and busty thanks to the breastfeeding. Thank you for how well that has always gone. I love how you feed a child like that, so simply with no pain or fuss. I'm even almost done fixing those pesky front teeth that have been bothering you. I bought you some new purple glasses too-you'll like them. Not only will we be able to see better, but other people will see how snazzy we look. You see, I don't hate you any longer.
For once in my life I am truly at peace with the way you look. Do you look like a magazine picture? No, but nobody really does. I like you, you have a lot of stories written on you. You are the thing I have always wanted and always dreaded, a part of myself. Thank you for putting up with all the abuse over the years. I hope you can forgive me. Know that I thank you every day for the miracle you did growing our child, and the continued work of feeding her. I think, I'm actually learning to love you.
Sincerely,
Miss Mama
Hey! Whats up? It's been a while since we've talked and I figure we should have a chat. See if we can clear the air between us. I know things have been hard between us, but I promise I'm getting better. Just hear me out,ok?
You and I have always had a complicated relationship, almost as long as I can remember. The hair sprouting from your top was so long and thick it hardly ever dried. The arms and legs too long for the middle. I ate and ate but always seemed to look a little sick. For a while there I was even awfully bad at keeping you clean. We were always in trouble together though. Knees scraped after a bicycle fall, fingernails caked with dirt from backyard exploration, arms covered in cat scratches. Childhood was good for us but somewhere along the way I forgot how much I needed you. I even started to hate you.
I was nine years old when you began acting as an adult in many ways. I had no idea how to deal with these cramps and pads and hot water bottles and such. It was overwhelming to be the only one in my class who was needing that extra bathroom break, that trip to the nurse for forgotten "supplies", that embarrassing need for a sweater around the waist. I hated every second of it. I hated you.
A few years later I really understood the reality of living with a dying man. As our father died, you and I changed tactics a bit. I used you to escape and to dull pain. We ran for miles and miles, pushing until feet were sore and bleeding, chest heaving in gasps of breath, sweat pouring in buckets. We ate and ate and ate, climbing from a size 6 to a 12 overnight. We drank and smoked(just once, we hated it) and had many an interesting brownie at a party. I still hated you, but I realized I could use you to feel better, and so I did.
When my father died I wanted nothing to do with having a normal body. Everything else in my life was spinning out of control and I wanted something to have power over. The first time I hurt you was a rush. It felt like the world slowed down and I had the ability to breathe and mourn and live again. The marks I left were like trophies "You took control once, here is the proof". I sought out bad company and shared the pain and loneliness. I latched on to some bad guys who helped me hate you even more. Then things started to change.
I found myself in a situation I did not want to be in and finally had the self respect to get myself out. Soon I moved, surrounding myself with new people and experiences. I asked questions of myself: what do I want from my life? Am I ready to try to be happy? All along this journey you were with me. I started to treat you better. I hurt you less and less. I exercised and we lost weight. I took care in dressing you. Things were looking up.
I began a relationship with a man who worshipped you. He never ceased to compliment you. He embraced us when I admitted to the harm I've done you. He forgave me when I was just starting to forgive myself. I married this man, dressing you up in an ivory gown and sweeping your hair up on top of your head. I finally began to embrace you for what you were, a part of me.
Pregnancy was a great time for us, wasn't it? I was proud to watch you swell and change. I exercised, fed you well, and kept you well hydrated. We grew another body, one of a little girl, and it is for her that I am truly working on my relationship with you. We tried so hard to birth her at home, but when she was stuck and you exhausted I consented to the transfer and all it brought. For months after my ninja's birth I was angry at you. How could you do this to me? I prepared you well! I did everything I was supposed to do? Why did you allow me to wind up on my back in a cold unforgiving room while strangers stretched you and pulled on you to free my baby? As time wore on, and I better understood what had happened I began to move on. I forgive you now. I forgive you for my birth. You did your best, and that is all that matters.
 |
| Me, three days after having ninja baby |
For once in my life I am truly at peace with the way you look. Do you look like a magazine picture? No, but nobody really does. I like you, you have a lot of stories written on you. You are the thing I have always wanted and always dreaded, a part of myself. Thank you for putting up with all the abuse over the years. I hope you can forgive me. Know that I thank you every day for the miracle you did growing our child, and the continued work of feeding her. I think, I'm actually learning to love you.
Sincerely,
Miss Mama
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Babies at Church
Do you bring your children to church? I don't mean taking the to the building on Sunday morning and hiding in a cry room or hall or bathroom or the steps outside. I mean do you actually take your children into the church to worship? I take the ninja to church (almost) every Sunday, and the looks of shock and awe I get for arriving on time and staying through the service astound me. What else would I do? God has given me responsibility for this little precious soul, why would I ignore the spiritual nourishment that is the church?
All too often in Orthodox circles I notice mothers being made to feel like they have to remove their children from the liturgy for making a peep. Children are noisy,inquisitive, and active beings that learn about the space around them by participating in it. Parents either arrive in time for Communion, or they arrive late but scamper off to the hall with their children until then. People joke with me that my 12 month old has better church attendance than most of the adults they know. It's a strange phenomenon.
I know firsthand how much of a challenge it can be to keep a child quiet enough to be respectful in church when they are just too busy being children to care that mama needs them to hush. Ninja baby has never been a quiet child. She was born howling at the top of her little barely used lungs, and she's hardly been silent since. She cried for her entire 45 minute baptism service, she cried for her churching, this child even cried when her Godmother took her to communion the first time. She did stop crying when they put the spoon in her mouth though. Come to think of it, at 12 months old this is still the only point in the service when I can guarantee that she will be ok. I guess she just loves communion!
These days I still spend a good deal of time pacing out into the breezeway with a fussy ninja, only to pace right back into church the moment she is happier. I can't count the number of times I have seen a parent setting up camp in the church hall-through the breezeway and double doors- having full plans to stay there with their child until communion.What I find most frustrating about these parents is that they are the ones who are treated as "normal" by my parish. Everyone seems to understand being in the hall, or breezeway, or outside until communion, but being present during the worship is seen as abnormal. "I don't know how you do it" they tell me, with a shake of their head. I also get disapproving looks because I allow ninja to venerate the icons repeatedly throughout the service (which is totally and completely permitted outside of the Cherubic hymn, the Our Father, The Creed, and the Gospel reading), for allowing her to walk around while I follow her(We have no pews! everyone paces a little!), I even get looks for letting her make a little noise now and then- she wants to sing along to the music too!
What do you think, am I oversensitive? Do I put too much stock into participation? Or is the trend of keeping your child isolated from Christ's community not as bad as it feels to me?
All too often in Orthodox circles I notice mothers being made to feel like they have to remove their children from the liturgy for making a peep. Children are noisy,inquisitive, and active beings that learn about the space around them by participating in it. Parents either arrive in time for Communion, or they arrive late but scamper off to the hall with their children until then. People joke with me that my 12 month old has better church attendance than most of the adults they know. It's a strange phenomenon.
I know firsthand how much of a challenge it can be to keep a child quiet enough to be respectful in church when they are just too busy being children to care that mama needs them to hush. Ninja baby has never been a quiet child. She was born howling at the top of her little barely used lungs, and she's hardly been silent since. She cried for her entire 45 minute baptism service, she cried for her churching, this child even cried when her Godmother took her to communion the first time. She did stop crying when they put the spoon in her mouth though. Come to think of it, at 12 months old this is still the only point in the service when I can guarantee that she will be ok. I guess she just loves communion!
These days I still spend a good deal of time pacing out into the breezeway with a fussy ninja, only to pace right back into church the moment she is happier. I can't count the number of times I have seen a parent setting up camp in the church hall-through the breezeway and double doors- having full plans to stay there with their child until communion.What I find most frustrating about these parents is that they are the ones who are treated as "normal" by my parish. Everyone seems to understand being in the hall, or breezeway, or outside until communion, but being present during the worship is seen as abnormal. "I don't know how you do it" they tell me, with a shake of their head. I also get disapproving looks because I allow ninja to venerate the icons repeatedly throughout the service (which is totally and completely permitted outside of the Cherubic hymn, the Our Father, The Creed, and the Gospel reading), for allowing her to walk around while I follow her(We have no pews! everyone paces a little!), I even get looks for letting her make a little noise now and then- she wants to sing along to the music too!
What do you think, am I oversensitive? Do I put too much stock into participation? Or is the trend of keeping your child isolated from Christ's community not as bad as it feels to me?
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Funny is easier than frustrated
Sometimes, I wish Orthodoxy was more mainstream. That when I said "vigil" people thought of the same thing I did or pictured vestments and icons when I said "church". For the most part, I learn to just deal with it. When the responses I get are completely outlandish I revert to amusement as opposed to annoyance because it's easier to live my life that way. Take an exchange I had today for an example:
Ninja baby was settling down for a late nap ( 4 ish) in the ergo so I decided to go for a walk and get some air. Enter neighbor lady and her beagle.
Neighbor Lady: Don't let that baby nap so late! (Let's ignore the random advice aspect, shall we? )
Me: It's fine, we have several late nights coming up, not to mention holy week soon. (Ah, theres my problem, accidentally letting on that I am not a WASP)
NL: Holy Week?
Me: Yeah, the week before Easter
NL: That was a while ago
Me: Actually, I'm Orthodox so it hasn't happened on our calendar yet
NL: But...jews don't have Easter..
Me: Orthodox Christian actually, not jewish
NL: But, jews aren't Christian...
Me: Never mind, pagan tulip worship, we stay out all night sniffing tulips
NL: Tulips?
Me: yup, highly sacred practice
NL: Tulips?
Me: I worship tulips
NL: ......
Beagle: arf!
Ninja:wah!
Me:Gotta run!
Yeah, thats basically my life. I should really stop voulenterring information about Orthodoxy, it never gets me anywhere. Although I am now pretty sure I convinced that lady that I worship tulips. Fun fact: there are tulips growing in her garden. Maybe next time I walk by I'll kneel and smell them deeply. That would be mean, but fun.
Ninja baby was settling down for a late nap ( 4 ish) in the ergo so I decided to go for a walk and get some air. Enter neighbor lady and her beagle.
Neighbor Lady: Don't let that baby nap so late! (Let's ignore the random advice aspect, shall we? )
Me: It's fine, we have several late nights coming up, not to mention holy week soon. (Ah, theres my problem, accidentally letting on that I am not a WASP)
NL: Holy Week?
Me: Yeah, the week before Easter
NL: That was a while ago
Me: Actually, I'm Orthodox so it hasn't happened on our calendar yet
NL: But...jews don't have Easter..
Me: Orthodox Christian actually, not jewish
NL: But, jews aren't Christian...
Me: Never mind, pagan tulip worship, we stay out all night sniffing tulips
NL: Tulips?
Me: yup, highly sacred practice
NL: Tulips?
Me: I worship tulips
NL: ......
Beagle: arf!
Ninja:wah!
Me:Gotta run!
Yeah, thats basically my life. I should really stop voulenterring information about Orthodoxy, it never gets me anywhere. Although I am now pretty sure I convinced that lady that I worship tulips. Fun fact: there are tulips growing in her garden. Maybe next time I walk by I'll kneel and smell them deeply. That would be mean, but fun.
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